Sunday, January 16, 2011

motivated!

I feel....good. No, I feel better than good. Not quite fabulous. Maybe gooder? Or great-ish? Either way, it's better. Going off the gluten has had amazing results, and I definately notice when I get a little on accident (no more Panda Express for me). In addition to that, my mom and I started doing Weight Watchers. I have always been skeptical of it...not sure why though. My mom did it like 25 years ago and lost 50 pounds, so I knew it worked. But I guess I always just assumed it would be like any of the number of fad diets out there, but it's totally not! Doing it with my mom is providing a little competitive spirit...which is highly motivating. Plus, now that I'm off gluten I'm not an exhausted, sick lump so I've been able to work out again! YAY! Which, of course, prompted a mini shopping spree for some work out clothes today....poyester pjs don't quite cut it.

I've been super motivated this weekend....now I just need to apply some of that motivation to my kitchen, office, and bedroom. But in the meantime, I got frames for 3 pictures, hung one, and re-finished 2. I'm making a collage of sorts over the dining table of various food ads I've liked or food-related signs I've bought. Just need to remember where the final one is....maybe at my parent's? Hmm....

Friday, January 14, 2011

Clockwork

As a kid, I used to compulsively check my alarm clock. And I'm not exagerating on the compulsive part....I have a psych degree and work with a kid with some of the most intense compulsions I've ever seen. My alarm clock checking was compulsive.....I used to sit on the edge of the bed and set the clock. Get into bed and start reading....about 5 minutes later I would start thinking about the alarm clock and worrying that I might not have set it. If I was lucky, I would get another 5 minutes of reading in before the fear that it wasn't set made the words I was reading irrelevent. So I would check the clock. This repeated usually another 3 to 4 times while I read. Then, before turning off the light, I would check the clock again. And again about 10 min. later. And then I would wake up every 2 hours. And check the clock.

The point of all this is that I never overslept. Ever. Because that alarm clock? It was set. And I made damn sure of it. All freaking night. I eventually started to get control of my freakish worry that my alarm clock would mysteriously turn itself off and now I just double-check it before I turn the light out. Turns out, I was right to worry.

Several times over the last few months I've woken up to find that my clock did not go off. Each time, I would pass it off as my own mistake from the night before. Till this morning. I woke up savoring a few minutes of snuggling into my covers and being all warm and cozy. I knew it couldn't last, so I checked my clock to see how long I had till 5:00--when my alarm was set for. The clock? Yeah....it said 7:52. Not 5:00. So I did what any sane, rational person would do: I panicked, then I checked my phone. My phone did not say 7:52, my phone said 6:52. 5 bazillion thoughts ran through my head...including wondering if I missed daylight savings and maybe it's Monday? But, obviously, that was not the case and I figured out that my phone was probably right, being set by satellite and all that shit.

After sorting it out, I was still left with questions...who reset the clock (couldn't have been me...)? And turned off the alarm (again, obviously not me....)? And why (I wouldn't subconsiously need more sleep and thus turn off my alarm...of course not!)? When(....if it wasn't me, I obviously did not do it in my sleep)? There is only one obvious answer....Cat. She is nimble, quiet, and, most importantly, was irritated with me before bed because I only scratched her ears while reading for 15 minutes instead of the usual 30. Damn Cat. She's a sneaky one.

Moral of the story: Some seemingly pointless compulsions should be held onto....if only so you don't wake up 2 hours late on a Friday morning wondering if it's Monday and end up blaming your cat for the whole ordeal.

Monday, January 10, 2011

It's been one week since you looked at me

WOOHOO! Tomorrow marks 1 week of gluten free! (aside from 1 intentional slip to prove a point and one accidental sneaky merengue slip). And Thursday marks the official start of my New Year's resolution...well, the intentional one. It seems that going through major depresssion, cancelling your wedding, and kicking your fiance out cause stress! Which, if you are me (which you aren't...but you get the gist), means you did an awful lot of stress eating. Especially on that weekend trip down to visit your best friend and during which time you both acknowledged that you would end the relationship when you got home as well as ate your weight in food each day for 3 days. So Thursday is the official start of my goal to lose what I gained plus some. I'm trying hard not to have a number in mind, I'm trying to focus on the size I want to get back to wearing. My mom is doing it with me...which is fabulous because I'm not super accountable on my own....hence the weight gain to begin with. So that's that!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Making a dent...

Today was extremely productive....cleaned my kitchen, made gluten free banana nut muffins, gf French bread, a Galette de Rois for my boss, hung pictures, caught up on some paperwork for work, got a bit of research done, and made ribs and mashed potatos for dinner. And now my kitchn looks just about like it did this morning before I cleaned it, only now there are baked goods scattered around.

I also managed to get the majority of the food with gluten in them out of my kitchen and into my mom's car. My mom is fabulous and buys me random groceries. In the middle of the day, I'll get a text or voice mail informing me that she has deposited a box of pastina or a carton of milk or a can of soup in my kitchen. Not that I have no food...she just likes to feed people. And since I don't live with my parents, this is her way of feeding me. (Although, it really does need to be mentioned that they literally live 7 miles away and I see them twice a day on average....she has plenty of opportunities to feed me). So cleaning out the cupboards with her was....entertaining. Primarily because I had to keep explaining that the reason I have 6 unopened boxes of pastina is because she bought me 6 boxes. Well, actually, I'm sure there were more, but there were 6 that I hadn't gotten to yet. Anyway, I got rid of 2 garbage bags and a box of assorted pastas, cereals, chips, crackers, soups, sauces, and frozen food. Pros: there is a ton more room in my cupboards and I can get the gf stuff off my counters and have somewhere to put it now. Cons: I miss wheat.

While here, mom also helped me get some pictures hung. Redneck and I could never agree on where to put the damn couch, let alone pictures. And after the break-up I just kinda didn't care. But now I do. So mom came to help. Mom has a great eye for composition (probably why she went to an art college and is an amazing artist) so she gives great input as to which pictures to group together and so on. My parent's homes have always had various pictures and art pieces across the walls in surprising, but balanced groupings. But as I grew up 2 things happened--I got taller and I became a smidge ocd about things being straight. Both of these developments caused me to see mom's wall decor in new ways--none of the pictures were hung closer than 3 feet from the ceiling and they were all crooked. Mom is 5 ft 8 in...which explains why I felt things were hung too low (I'm 6 ft)....and I have no explanation for the pictures being crooked, except to say that whenever I point it out and she "fixes" a picture, it always ends up crooked the other way. So it was a bit of an ordeal for the two of us to hang pictures. Luckily, I was well prepared with my nails, pencil, tape measure and level....mom brought the hammer. After much measuring, re-configuring, marking, 2 holes in the wrong spots, and an hour, we got 7 pictures hung! WOOO!!!!!

So there you have it....my productive-but-you-wouldn't-know-it-by-the-state-of-my-kitchen-day.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

serioulsy.

Not much doin....waiting for the weekend and hoping that motivation will come with it. I have mounds of paperwork to catch up on and the house needs to be cleaned. So far that's really the only problem I've found with living alone....if no one else is there, then who is going to complain if I leave that bowl out? Or the plate....or cup. You see where I'm going. But I'm serioulsy lacking in the motivation department. I blame the gluten deprivation. Planning on staying gluten-free for about a week then going in to the doctor to get tested. Although I cheated and had a little itsy 1.5 inch piece of toasty-crackery-baguettey-thing yesterday....30 minutes later I was regretting it. So I'm leaning towards yes on the whole intolerance thing. It would appear that the lack of motivation applies to posting right now too....so that's it. I'm all done.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Success on day 1

WOOHOO! Made it through my first day of gluten-free-ness! I was a bit disappointed by the selection, or lack there-of, of gluten-free baked goods at the store yesterday...something will have to be done, but more on that later. I just finished a bowl of amazing potato soup and threw a loaf of bread (minus the oh-so-tasty wheat) in the oven. I have a delicious pear for dessert, Dog and Cat are lounging contentedly, and I made it through 24 hours with no wheat....overall a great day! Here's the recipe for the potato soup (from my mom, with a few modifications)...I don't measure anything for it, so I'll do my best to describe it by look...

Potato Soup (Gluten-free optional)

Dice up potatos into about 1/2 inch squares (personally, I love red potatos for this with the skin on, but peeled brown potatos work too). Put the potatos in a stock pot with enough water to cover them, plus a little, and a chicken bullion cube. Boil about 15 min, till they are soft enough to poke easily with a fork, but not so soft as to fall off of the fork.

Drain the water, leaving about 1/2 in. Put the potatos back in and add 2-4 tablespoons of butter, and let the butter melt. Meanwhile, Mix 1 cup of flour (regular or gluten-free) with a generous pinch of salt and pepper as well as some dried parsley and oregano...or fresh....or any other seasonings you want. Crack an egg into the bowl with the flour/seasonings and use a fork to mix it up, set aside.

Pour enough milk into the pan with the potatos to cover, then add about another cup...you can also add some half & half. Turn the heat to med-high and let the milk warm up. Meanwhile, dice up any bacon or ham (or whatever else you want in there....) and grate about 1 cup of cheese. Once the milk is hot slowly add the rivels (the flour/egg mixture) and stir to keep them from all sticking together. Add more milk if needed. Allow to cook for about 15 min. Add your ham/bacon/etc. Adding sour cream is fabulous too, I just never seem to have it on hand. Add the grated cheese and salt and pepper to taste, stir till the cheese is melted.

This goes great with cheesy rolls....haven't tried any gluten-free ones yet, but if this bread turns out I'll work on it. Enjoy!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Unwanted resolutions

Ok...so for the past 2 months I have been sick. Not like sick, then better, then sick again....oh no. That would be too easy. As of the beginning of November I knew that there were a limited number of antibiotics that I'm not allergic to....after 2 bouts of strep and 3 sinus infections I'm down to 2 antibiotics that don't make my body freak out. Joy. So it's all good while I'm on the antibiotics, but within a day or 2 of finishing them there I am...sick again. Meanwhile, I've also seen my doctor for increased acid reflux, migraines, tension headaches, vertigo, stomach issues and body aches. To sum up, I've kinda been a complete wreck. And my doctor was a complete ass. But that's another story. So I decided to do a little research and found that my symptoms seemed to fit with a gluten intolerance....after a phone call to my mom (keeper of all childhood ailment knowledge) I was told "Oh yeah.....you couldn't eat wheat when you were a kid." Helpful mom.

So, in conjuction with the standard weight-loss, house cleanliness, anti-procrastination resolutions that I voluntarily make, this year I have one that seems to not be a choice....no more gluten. I haven't been tested yet, I'm going to try to eliminate the stuff first and see if it works. But tomorrow is my official end of gluten consumption. It would have been today, but have you checked your kitchen for non-gluten breakfast foods lately? Because all I could find was a banana and that just wasn't going to cut it. Plus, I made banana bread last night, so it seemed a shame to let it go to waste. So I went to the store today and stocked up....gluten-free cereal, granola bars, crackers, bread mix, baking/muffin mix, and pasta....now I'm ready for tomorrow. In the mean time, here I am, saying goodbye to gluten while eating a third of a loaf of oh-so-good banana walnut bread....wish me luck!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Cream puffs and kiddos

It's been a while....lots of the same going on in general--working and baking. Christmas was great, lots of support from my parents....it's weird to think I've been single for 6 months, but it's slowly starting to sink in. Dog is getting enormous, haven't taken him to the vet to be weighed but best guess is between 80 and 90 pounds. Cat got a new condo (compliments of carpet remnants, an old basketball hoop pole, and my dad's ability to make anything) and is in kitty-heaven. My neice is in town for a visit...20 months old and so damn cute!

Work is getting....frustrating. I'm excited that one kiddo will be graduating the program at the beginning of February. She was my first ever client and I've been with her family since she started the program 2 years ago. I'm so proud of her for the progress she has made, but I'm also insanely nervous for her to transition out....what if she regresses? What if her parents stop following through? I guess I should have a little more faith in all of them...she finally started sleeping in her own bed again after 4 years of sleeping with mom, so they must have been listening to me at some point over the last 2 years.

On the flip side of things, another of my kiddos is regressing big time, but it's not his fault or his family's. This kiddo has a serious degenerative disease that will eventually be terminal. His seizures have increased and their anatomy is changing....not good signs. As a result of the seizures he is losing some of his recently gained skills and is constantly tired....resulting in him being constantly grumpy and emotional and having a big increase in behaviors. I know that following through when I give him a directive is important to his therapy, but what about what's important for his happiness? I mean, no one knows just how long this kid has, so it makes me feel like a terrible person when I have him engage in non-preffered activities....a big part of me just wants to let him play all day.

Ok. Enough depressing-ness. I have been doing quite a bit of baking lately, from making my own caramel for a 'Twix' torte and Mexican toffe (both from "The Perfect Finish" by Bill Yosses) to general Christamas baking to mini beef wellingtons and mini maragarita cupcakes. But my favorite over the past month has by far been the cream puffs. Frenchie's husband loved the blueberry coffee cake, so she ordered another one at the beginning of December. She didn't request anything for Christmas, but asked for cream puffs for New Years. And, if possible, nougatine or florentinas. After several trials, and one attempt to rip my stove from the wall, I declared the nougatine impossible with my current stove (it's an electric flat-top and the burners don't hold a constant heat, but insead turn on and off--making caramel and candy rather difficult). So I switched to the florentina. Which cannot be cooked on parchment--as I discovered the hard way. I got one useable florentina rolled before my cookie sheets warped and all the batter ran to the centers. Damn. So cream puffs it was! After a slight debacle the morning I was due to deliver the pastries (apparently cream puffs can't be stored in a sealed container....who knew?), I whipped up another batch and they were crazy successful! Unfortuantely I have not been committed enough to look for my camera charger, and I'm sick at the moment and so feeling too lazy to go get the cable to get the pictures from my phone to the blog. But who know, maybe I'll get a burst of energy...but don't count on it.

Today was banana bread (favorite recipe for this is the one from Southern Sideboards) and laundry...generally a lazy, sicky day. Are constant body aches a sign of anything? All I know is tomorrow I go back to work with a school kid who is very.....hands-on. As in, lots of physically blocking him from various objects of obsession and lots of physically aggressive melt downs. And this achy-ness? Yeah, it is so not going to work for me tomorrow.