Saturday, February 5, 2011

sweet serendipity

So it's been a while....was just reading through my last post because I couldn't remember when/what I had written last! So in the past month-ish that I've been all anti-blog I have lost 12 pounds thanks to WW! YAY!!!!! Dog is getting massive....about 110 lbs and 10 months next week. Last night was the first time in a very very long time that I've gone out with friends and was able to relax and really enjoy myself (until 2 a.m., thank you very much!). And today, for the first time in almost 3 years, I went on a date....sorta.

Online dating is certainly a gamble. Met him today at Starbucks at 2 (with just the slightest bit of a hangover). I planned to get there a few minutes early to buy my own drink...I know, might as well just shoot chivalry in the foot. His first question was if i was excited for the Super Bowl....when I told him I don't watch sports, Super Bowl included, he proceeded to talk about football for the next 5 minutes despite my repeated statements that I basically don't give a shit. There were lots of awkward silences while I tried to drink my iced tea/lemonade as fast as possible so I would have less reason to stay. The only questions he asked were to lead into him talking about himself. Then he proceeded to tell me that he has diabetes and cystic fibrosis...followed up by a statement about how his lungs produce abnormally thick mucus. So very not something you share the first time you meet some one.

The whole thing was so rediculous that after I sucked down my drink in record time, I excused myself to the bathroom and tried not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it on the way there. Called my sister for a quick freak-out pep talk and realized that I had only been sitting with him for about 20 minutes....it felt like an hour. My sister is all about the whole be-positive-but-let-them-down-easy-and-clearly thing, so that's what she advised me to do...something along the lines of "I really enjoyed meeting you but I just don't see this gong anywhere. Thank you for meeting me and have a good weekend" and I went out of the bathroom fully intending to convey that sort of sentiment.

But he wouldn't let me talk. Everytime I started to say something he cut in about what sports teams he likes (ick), where he likes to go camping (bugs!), and hiking (ok with that, kinda), and where his favorite pizza place is (um...yeah...pizza typically has wheat...which has gluten....which I can't have). All I could think was that he was like an insecure pansy-ass version of Redneck....the original wasn't good, a pansy-assed version is no better. I finally realized that he was taking a really deep breath before talking, so before he could finish inhaling I launched into my own version of my sister's compassionate let-down speech...."It was nice to meet you. I'm going to go now. Have a good weekend." Honestly, under the circumstances it was the best I could do. The fact that I got the whole 3 sentences out without being interrupted is pretty impressive. I pretty much ran out of there and hit the freeway doing 80.

The whole thing was enough to bring on a bout of heartburn...although that may have been in part to sucking down my drink in under 10 minutes. But I did it. I am slowly putting myself back together piece by piece....some of them (like hanging out with friends till closing time) are more enjoyable than others, but I'm figuring it out.

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