Thursday, February 24, 2011
snow day ramblings
Ok...so I haven't written since...well, actually, it's been long enough that I don't remember what I wrote about last. Let's check....(cue boring elevator music)...oh right. Mucus-guy from match.com. Joy. Not much doing since then....although I did bake some killer gluten-free brownie-filled chocolate chip cookies. I'm slowly settling into the idea of gluten-free baking and starting to get back the urge to bake. I think I went through the 7 stages of grief after finding out I couldn't have real bread...or is it 5? I dunno....there was denial, crying, ticked off and acceptance....but I'm still pretty ticked off, and apparently I can't count. Whatever.
Oh, and my sister and neice moved in with my parents last weekend. Her husband should be here Sunday-ish...or whenever he is over the flu enough to drive here from that giant state with no cell phone reception, a.k.a. Montana. Considering that they were originally going to move in with me, I'm pretty extatic about the whole thing in general. My sister and I get along for about 3 days at a time, have some major blowout argument, then rinse and repeat. So it's a good thing that they don't live here. Not to mention that my sister is intimidated by Dog (ok...he's a little big, but that was part of the reason I got him!) and I don't agree with some of the ways she's been raising their daughter....so us not living together is really just best for everyone. It would end badly.
Oh, and my sister and neice moved in with my parents last weekend. Her husband should be here Sunday-ish...or whenever he is over the flu enough to drive here from that giant state with no cell phone reception, a.k.a. Montana. Considering that they were originally going to move in with me, I'm pretty extatic about the whole thing in general. My sister and I get along for about 3 days at a time, have some major blowout argument, then rinse and repeat. So it's a good thing that they don't live here. Not to mention that my sister is intimidated by Dog (ok...he's a little big, but that was part of the reason I got him!) and I don't agree with some of the ways she's been raising their daughter....so us not living together is really just best for everyone. It would end badly.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
sweet serendipity
So it's been a while....was just reading through my last post because I couldn't remember when/what I had written last! So in the past month-ish that I've been all anti-blog I have lost 12 pounds thanks to WW! YAY!!!!! Dog is getting massive....about 110 lbs and 10 months next week. Last night was the first time in a very very long time that I've gone out with friends and was able to relax and really enjoy myself (until 2 a.m., thank you very much!). And today, for the first time in almost 3 years, I went on a date....sorta.
Online dating is certainly a gamble. Met him today at Starbucks at 2 (with just the slightest bit of a hangover). I planned to get there a few minutes early to buy my own drink...I know, might as well just shoot chivalry in the foot. His first question was if i was excited for the Super Bowl....when I told him I don't watch sports, Super Bowl included, he proceeded to talk about football for the next 5 minutes despite my repeated statements that I basically don't give a shit. There were lots of awkward silences while I tried to drink my iced tea/lemonade as fast as possible so I would have less reason to stay. The only questions he asked were to lead into him talking about himself. Then he proceeded to tell me that he has diabetes and cystic fibrosis...followed up by a statement about how his lungs produce abnormally thick mucus. So very not something you share the first time you meet some one.
The whole thing was so rediculous that after I sucked down my drink in record time, I excused myself to the bathroom and tried not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it on the way there. Called my sister for a quick freak-out pep talk and realized that I had only been sitting with him for about 20 minutes....it felt like an hour. My sister is all about the whole be-positive-but-let-them-down-easy-and-clearly thing, so that's what she advised me to do...something along the lines of "I really enjoyed meeting you but I just don't see this gong anywhere. Thank you for meeting me and have a good weekend" and I went out of the bathroom fully intending to convey that sort of sentiment.
But he wouldn't let me talk. Everytime I started to say something he cut in about what sports teams he likes (ick), where he likes to go camping (bugs!), and hiking (ok with that, kinda), and where his favorite pizza place is (um...yeah...pizza typically has wheat...which has gluten....which I can't have). All I could think was that he was like an insecure pansy-ass version of Redneck....the original wasn't good, a pansy-assed version is no better. I finally realized that he was taking a really deep breath before talking, so before he could finish inhaling I launched into my own version of my sister's compassionate let-down speech...."It was nice to meet you. I'm going to go now. Have a good weekend." Honestly, under the circumstances it was the best I could do. The fact that I got the whole 3 sentences out without being interrupted is pretty impressive. I pretty much ran out of there and hit the freeway doing 80.
The whole thing was enough to bring on a bout of heartburn...although that may have been in part to sucking down my drink in under 10 minutes. But I did it. I am slowly putting myself back together piece by piece....some of them (like hanging out with friends till closing time) are more enjoyable than others, but I'm figuring it out.
Online dating is certainly a gamble. Met him today at Starbucks at 2 (with just the slightest bit of a hangover). I planned to get there a few minutes early to buy my own drink...I know, might as well just shoot chivalry in the foot. His first question was if i was excited for the Super Bowl....when I told him I don't watch sports, Super Bowl included, he proceeded to talk about football for the next 5 minutes despite my repeated statements that I basically don't give a shit. There were lots of awkward silences while I tried to drink my iced tea/lemonade as fast as possible so I would have less reason to stay. The only questions he asked were to lead into him talking about himself. Then he proceeded to tell me that he has diabetes and cystic fibrosis...followed up by a statement about how his lungs produce abnormally thick mucus. So very not something you share the first time you meet some one.
The whole thing was so rediculous that after I sucked down my drink in record time, I excused myself to the bathroom and tried not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it on the way there. Called my sister for a quick freak-out pep talk and realized that I had only been sitting with him for about 20 minutes....it felt like an hour. My sister is all about the whole be-positive-but-let-them-down-easy-and-clearly thing, so that's what she advised me to do...something along the lines of "I really enjoyed meeting you but I just don't see this gong anywhere. Thank you for meeting me and have a good weekend" and I went out of the bathroom fully intending to convey that sort of sentiment.
But he wouldn't let me talk. Everytime I started to say something he cut in about what sports teams he likes (ick), where he likes to go camping (bugs!), and hiking (ok with that, kinda), and where his favorite pizza place is (um...yeah...pizza typically has wheat...which has gluten....which I can't have). All I could think was that he was like an insecure pansy-ass version of Redneck....the original wasn't good, a pansy-assed version is no better. I finally realized that he was taking a really deep breath before talking, so before he could finish inhaling I launched into my own version of my sister's compassionate let-down speech...."It was nice to meet you. I'm going to go now. Have a good weekend." Honestly, under the circumstances it was the best I could do. The fact that I got the whole 3 sentences out without being interrupted is pretty impressive. I pretty much ran out of there and hit the freeway doing 80.
The whole thing was enough to bring on a bout of heartburn...although that may have been in part to sucking down my drink in under 10 minutes. But I did it. I am slowly putting myself back together piece by piece....some of them (like hanging out with friends till closing time) are more enjoyable than others, but I'm figuring it out.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
motivated!
I feel....good. No, I feel better than good. Not quite fabulous. Maybe gooder? Or great-ish? Either way, it's better. Going off the gluten has had amazing results, and I definately notice when I get a little on accident (no more Panda Express for me). In addition to that, my mom and I started doing Weight Watchers. I have always been skeptical of it...not sure why though. My mom did it like 25 years ago and lost 50 pounds, so I knew it worked. But I guess I always just assumed it would be like any of the number of fad diets out there, but it's totally not! Doing it with my mom is providing a little competitive spirit...which is highly motivating. Plus, now that I'm off gluten I'm not an exhausted, sick lump so I've been able to work out again! YAY! Which, of course, prompted a mini shopping spree for some work out clothes today....poyester pjs don't quite cut it.
I've been super motivated this weekend....now I just need to apply some of that motivation to my kitchen, office, and bedroom. But in the meantime, I got frames for 3 pictures, hung one, and re-finished 2. I'm making a collage of sorts over the dining table of various food ads I've liked or food-related signs I've bought. Just need to remember where the final one is....maybe at my parent's? Hmm....
I've been super motivated this weekend....now I just need to apply some of that motivation to my kitchen, office, and bedroom. But in the meantime, I got frames for 3 pictures, hung one, and re-finished 2. I'm making a collage of sorts over the dining table of various food ads I've liked or food-related signs I've bought. Just need to remember where the final one is....maybe at my parent's? Hmm....
Friday, January 14, 2011
Clockwork
As a kid, I used to compulsively check my alarm clock. And I'm not exagerating on the compulsive part....I have a psych degree and work with a kid with some of the most intense compulsions I've ever seen. My alarm clock checking was compulsive.....I used to sit on the edge of the bed and set the clock. Get into bed and start reading....about 5 minutes later I would start thinking about the alarm clock and worrying that I might not have set it. If I was lucky, I would get another 5 minutes of reading in before the fear that it wasn't set made the words I was reading irrelevent. So I would check the clock. This repeated usually another 3 to 4 times while I read. Then, before turning off the light, I would check the clock again. And again about 10 min. later. And then I would wake up every 2 hours. And check the clock.
The point of all this is that I never overslept. Ever. Because that alarm clock? It was set. And I made damn sure of it. All freaking night. I eventually started to get control of my freakish worry that my alarm clock would mysteriously turn itself off and now I just double-check it before I turn the light out. Turns out, I was right to worry.
Several times over the last few months I've woken up to find that my clock did not go off. Each time, I would pass it off as my own mistake from the night before. Till this morning. I woke up savoring a few minutes of snuggling into my covers and being all warm and cozy. I knew it couldn't last, so I checked my clock to see how long I had till 5:00--when my alarm was set for. The clock? Yeah....it said 7:52. Not 5:00. So I did what any sane, rational person would do: I panicked, then I checked my phone. My phone did not say 7:52, my phone said 6:52. 5 bazillion thoughts ran through my head...including wondering if I missed daylight savings and maybe it's Monday? But, obviously, that was not the case and I figured out that my phone was probably right, being set by satellite and all that shit.
After sorting it out, I was still left with questions...who reset the clock (couldn't have been me...)? And turned off the alarm (again, obviously not me....)? And why (I wouldn't subconsiously need more sleep and thus turn off my alarm...of course not!)? When(....if it wasn't me, I obviously did not do it in my sleep)? There is only one obvious answer....Cat. She is nimble, quiet, and, most importantly, was irritated with me before bed because I only scratched her ears while reading for 15 minutes instead of the usual 30. Damn Cat. She's a sneaky one.
Moral of the story: Some seemingly pointless compulsions should be held onto....if only so you don't wake up 2 hours late on a Friday morning wondering if it's Monday and end up blaming your cat for the whole ordeal.
The point of all this is that I never overslept. Ever. Because that alarm clock? It was set. And I made damn sure of it. All freaking night. I eventually started to get control of my freakish worry that my alarm clock would mysteriously turn itself off and now I just double-check it before I turn the light out. Turns out, I was right to worry.
Several times over the last few months I've woken up to find that my clock did not go off. Each time, I would pass it off as my own mistake from the night before. Till this morning. I woke up savoring a few minutes of snuggling into my covers and being all warm and cozy. I knew it couldn't last, so I checked my clock to see how long I had till 5:00--when my alarm was set for. The clock? Yeah....it said 7:52. Not 5:00. So I did what any sane, rational person would do: I panicked, then I checked my phone. My phone did not say 7:52, my phone said 6:52. 5 bazillion thoughts ran through my head...including wondering if I missed daylight savings and maybe it's Monday? But, obviously, that was not the case and I figured out that my phone was probably right, being set by satellite and all that shit.
After sorting it out, I was still left with questions...who reset the clock (couldn't have been me...)? And turned off the alarm (again, obviously not me....)? And why (I wouldn't subconsiously need more sleep and thus turn off my alarm...of course not!)? When(....if it wasn't me, I obviously did not do it in my sleep)? There is only one obvious answer....Cat. She is nimble, quiet, and, most importantly, was irritated with me before bed because I only scratched her ears while reading for 15 minutes instead of the usual 30. Damn Cat. She's a sneaky one.
Moral of the story: Some seemingly pointless compulsions should be held onto....if only so you don't wake up 2 hours late on a Friday morning wondering if it's Monday and end up blaming your cat for the whole ordeal.
Monday, January 10, 2011
It's been one week since you looked at me
WOOHOO! Tomorrow marks 1 week of gluten free! (aside from 1 intentional slip to prove a point and one accidental sneaky merengue slip). And Thursday marks the official start of my New Year's resolution...well, the intentional one. It seems that going through major depresssion, cancelling your wedding, and kicking your fiance out cause stress! Which, if you are me (which you aren't...but you get the gist), means you did an awful lot of stress eating. Especially on that weekend trip down to visit your best friend and during which time you both acknowledged that you would end the relationship when you got home as well as ate your weight in food each day for 3 days. So Thursday is the official start of my goal to lose what I gained plus some. I'm trying hard not to have a number in mind, I'm trying to focus on the size I want to get back to wearing. My mom is doing it with me...which is fabulous because I'm not super accountable on my own....hence the weight gain to begin with. So that's that!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Making a dent...
Today was extremely productive....cleaned my kitchen, made gluten free banana nut muffins, gf French bread, a Galette de Rois for my boss, hung pictures, caught up on some paperwork for work, got a bit of research done, and made ribs and mashed potatos for dinner. And now my kitchn looks just about like it did this morning before I cleaned it, only now there are baked goods scattered around.
I also managed to get the majority of the food with gluten in them out of my kitchen and into my mom's car. My mom is fabulous and buys me random groceries. In the middle of the day, I'll get a text or voice mail informing me that she has deposited a box of pastina or a carton of milk or a can of soup in my kitchen. Not that I have no food...she just likes to feed people. And since I don't live with my parents, this is her way of feeding me. (Although, it really does need to be mentioned that they literally live 7 miles away and I see them twice a day on average....she has plenty of opportunities to feed me). So cleaning out the cupboards with her was....entertaining. Primarily because I had to keep explaining that the reason I have 6 unopened boxes of pastina is because she bought me 6 boxes. Well, actually, I'm sure there were more, but there were 6 that I hadn't gotten to yet. Anyway, I got rid of 2 garbage bags and a box of assorted pastas, cereals, chips, crackers, soups, sauces, and frozen food. Pros: there is a ton more room in my cupboards and I can get the gf stuff off my counters and have somewhere to put it now. Cons: I miss wheat.
While here, mom also helped me get some pictures hung. Redneck and I could never agree on where to put the damn couch, let alone pictures. And after the break-up I just kinda didn't care. But now I do. So mom came to help. Mom has a great eye for composition (probably why she went to an art college and is an amazing artist) so she gives great input as to which pictures to group together and so on. My parent's homes have always had various pictures and art pieces across the walls in surprising, but balanced groupings. But as I grew up 2 things happened--I got taller and I became a smidge ocd about things being straight. Both of these developments caused me to see mom's wall decor in new ways--none of the pictures were hung closer than 3 feet from the ceiling and they were all crooked. Mom is 5 ft 8 in...which explains why I felt things were hung too low (I'm 6 ft)....and I have no explanation for the pictures being crooked, except to say that whenever I point it out and she "fixes" a picture, it always ends up crooked the other way. So it was a bit of an ordeal for the two of us to hang pictures. Luckily, I was well prepared with my nails, pencil, tape measure and level....mom brought the hammer. After much measuring, re-configuring, marking, 2 holes in the wrong spots, and an hour, we got 7 pictures hung! WOOO!!!!!
So there you have it....my productive-but-you-wouldn't-know-it-by-the-state-of-my-kitchen-day.
I also managed to get the majority of the food with gluten in them out of my kitchen and into my mom's car. My mom is fabulous and buys me random groceries. In the middle of the day, I'll get a text or voice mail informing me that she has deposited a box of pastina or a carton of milk or a can of soup in my kitchen. Not that I have no food...she just likes to feed people. And since I don't live with my parents, this is her way of feeding me. (Although, it really does need to be mentioned that they literally live 7 miles away and I see them twice a day on average....she has plenty of opportunities to feed me). So cleaning out the cupboards with her was....entertaining. Primarily because I had to keep explaining that the reason I have 6 unopened boxes of pastina is because she bought me 6 boxes. Well, actually, I'm sure there were more, but there were 6 that I hadn't gotten to yet. Anyway, I got rid of 2 garbage bags and a box of assorted pastas, cereals, chips, crackers, soups, sauces, and frozen food. Pros: there is a ton more room in my cupboards and I can get the gf stuff off my counters and have somewhere to put it now. Cons: I miss wheat.
While here, mom also helped me get some pictures hung. Redneck and I could never agree on where to put the damn couch, let alone pictures. And after the break-up I just kinda didn't care. But now I do. So mom came to help. Mom has a great eye for composition (probably why she went to an art college and is an amazing artist) so she gives great input as to which pictures to group together and so on. My parent's homes have always had various pictures and art pieces across the walls in surprising, but balanced groupings. But as I grew up 2 things happened--I got taller and I became a smidge ocd about things being straight. Both of these developments caused me to see mom's wall decor in new ways--none of the pictures were hung closer than 3 feet from the ceiling and they were all crooked. Mom is 5 ft 8 in...which explains why I felt things were hung too low (I'm 6 ft)....and I have no explanation for the pictures being crooked, except to say that whenever I point it out and she "fixes" a picture, it always ends up crooked the other way. So it was a bit of an ordeal for the two of us to hang pictures. Luckily, I was well prepared with my nails, pencil, tape measure and level....mom brought the hammer. After much measuring, re-configuring, marking, 2 holes in the wrong spots, and an hour, we got 7 pictures hung! WOOO!!!!!
So there you have it....my productive-but-you-wouldn't-know-it-by-the-state-of-my-kitchen-day.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
serioulsy.
Not much doin....waiting for the weekend and hoping that motivation will come with it. I have mounds of paperwork to catch up on and the house needs to be cleaned. So far that's really the only problem I've found with living alone....if no one else is there, then who is going to complain if I leave that bowl out? Or the plate....or cup. You see where I'm going. But I'm serioulsy lacking in the motivation department. I blame the gluten deprivation. Planning on staying gluten-free for about a week then going in to the doctor to get tested. Although I cheated and had a little itsy 1.5 inch piece of toasty-crackery-baguettey-thing yesterday....30 minutes later I was regretting it. So I'm leaning towards yes on the whole intolerance thing. It would appear that the lack of motivation applies to posting right now too....so that's it. I'm all done.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Success on day 1
WOOHOO! Made it through my first day of gluten-free-ness! I was a bit disappointed by the selection, or lack there-of, of gluten-free baked goods at the store yesterday...something will have to be done, but more on that later. I just finished a bowl of amazing potato soup and threw a loaf of bread (minus the oh-so-tasty wheat) in the oven. I have a delicious pear for dessert, Dog and Cat are lounging contentedly, and I made it through 24 hours with no wheat....overall a great day! Here's the recipe for the potato soup (from my mom, with a few modifications)...I don't measure anything for it, so I'll do my best to describe it by look...
Potato Soup (Gluten-free optional)
Dice up potatos into about 1/2 inch squares (personally, I love red potatos for this with the skin on, but peeled brown potatos work too). Put the potatos in a stock pot with enough water to cover them, plus a little, and a chicken bullion cube. Boil about 15 min, till they are soft enough to poke easily with a fork, but not so soft as to fall off of the fork.
Drain the water, leaving about 1/2 in. Put the potatos back in and add 2-4 tablespoons of butter, and let the butter melt. Meanwhile, Mix 1 cup of flour (regular or gluten-free) with a generous pinch of salt and pepper as well as some dried parsley and oregano...or fresh....or any other seasonings you want. Crack an egg into the bowl with the flour/seasonings and use a fork to mix it up, set aside.
Pour enough milk into the pan with the potatos to cover, then add about another cup...you can also add some half & half. Turn the heat to med-high and let the milk warm up. Meanwhile, dice up any bacon or ham (or whatever else you want in there....) and grate about 1 cup of cheese. Once the milk is hot slowly add the rivels (the flour/egg mixture) and stir to keep them from all sticking together. Add more milk if needed. Allow to cook for about 15 min. Add your ham/bacon/etc. Adding sour cream is fabulous too, I just never seem to have it on hand. Add the grated cheese and salt and pepper to taste, stir till the cheese is melted.
This goes great with cheesy rolls....haven't tried any gluten-free ones yet, but if this bread turns out I'll work on it. Enjoy!
Potato Soup (Gluten-free optional)
Dice up potatos into about 1/2 inch squares (personally, I love red potatos for this with the skin on, but peeled brown potatos work too). Put the potatos in a stock pot with enough water to cover them, plus a little, and a chicken bullion cube. Boil about 15 min, till they are soft enough to poke easily with a fork, but not so soft as to fall off of the fork.
Drain the water, leaving about 1/2 in. Put the potatos back in and add 2-4 tablespoons of butter, and let the butter melt. Meanwhile, Mix 1 cup of flour (regular or gluten-free) with a generous pinch of salt and pepper as well as some dried parsley and oregano...or fresh....or any other seasonings you want. Crack an egg into the bowl with the flour/seasonings and use a fork to mix it up, set aside.
Pour enough milk into the pan with the potatos to cover, then add about another cup...you can also add some half & half. Turn the heat to med-high and let the milk warm up. Meanwhile, dice up any bacon or ham (or whatever else you want in there....) and grate about 1 cup of cheese. Once the milk is hot slowly add the rivels (the flour/egg mixture) and stir to keep them from all sticking together. Add more milk if needed. Allow to cook for about 15 min. Add your ham/bacon/etc. Adding sour cream is fabulous too, I just never seem to have it on hand. Add the grated cheese and salt and pepper to taste, stir till the cheese is melted.
This goes great with cheesy rolls....haven't tried any gluten-free ones yet, but if this bread turns out I'll work on it. Enjoy!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Unwanted resolutions
Ok...so for the past 2 months I have been sick. Not like sick, then better, then sick again....oh no. That would be too easy. As of the beginning of November I knew that there were a limited number of antibiotics that I'm not allergic to....after 2 bouts of strep and 3 sinus infections I'm down to 2 antibiotics that don't make my body freak out. Joy. So it's all good while I'm on the antibiotics, but within a day or 2 of finishing them there I am...sick again. Meanwhile, I've also seen my doctor for increased acid reflux, migraines, tension headaches, vertigo, stomach issues and body aches. To sum up, I've kinda been a complete wreck. And my doctor was a complete ass. But that's another story. So I decided to do a little research and found that my symptoms seemed to fit with a gluten intolerance....after a phone call to my mom (keeper of all childhood ailment knowledge) I was told "Oh yeah.....you couldn't eat wheat when you were a kid." Helpful mom.
So, in conjuction with the standard weight-loss, house cleanliness, anti-procrastination resolutions that I voluntarily make, this year I have one that seems to not be a choice....no more gluten. I haven't been tested yet, I'm going to try to eliminate the stuff first and see if it works. But tomorrow is my official end of gluten consumption. It would have been today, but have you checked your kitchen for non-gluten breakfast foods lately? Because all I could find was a banana and that just wasn't going to cut it. Plus, I made banana bread last night, so it seemed a shame to let it go to waste. So I went to the store today and stocked up....gluten-free cereal, granola bars, crackers, bread mix, baking/muffin mix, and pasta....now I'm ready for tomorrow. In the mean time, here I am, saying goodbye to gluten while eating a third of a loaf of oh-so-good banana walnut bread....wish me luck!
So, in conjuction with the standard weight-loss, house cleanliness, anti-procrastination resolutions that I voluntarily make, this year I have one that seems to not be a choice....no more gluten. I haven't been tested yet, I'm going to try to eliminate the stuff first and see if it works. But tomorrow is my official end of gluten consumption. It would have been today, but have you checked your kitchen for non-gluten breakfast foods lately? Because all I could find was a banana and that just wasn't going to cut it. Plus, I made banana bread last night, so it seemed a shame to let it go to waste. So I went to the store today and stocked up....gluten-free cereal, granola bars, crackers, bread mix, baking/muffin mix, and pasta....now I'm ready for tomorrow. In the mean time, here I am, saying goodbye to gluten while eating a third of a loaf of oh-so-good banana walnut bread....wish me luck!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Cream puffs and kiddos
It's been a while....lots of the same going on in general--working and baking. Christmas was great, lots of support from my parents....it's weird to think I've been single for 6 months, but it's slowly starting to sink in. Dog is getting enormous, haven't taken him to the vet to be weighed but best guess is between 80 and 90 pounds. Cat got a new condo (compliments of carpet remnants, an old basketball hoop pole, and my dad's ability to make anything) and is in kitty-heaven. My neice is in town for a visit...20 months old and so damn cute!
Work is getting....frustrating. I'm excited that one kiddo will be graduating the program at the beginning of February. She was my first ever client and I've been with her family since she started the program 2 years ago. I'm so proud of her for the progress she has made, but I'm also insanely nervous for her to transition out....what if she regresses? What if her parents stop following through? I guess I should have a little more faith in all of them...she finally started sleeping in her own bed again after 4 years of sleeping with mom, so they must have been listening to me at some point over the last 2 years.
On the flip side of things, another of my kiddos is regressing big time, but it's not his fault or his family's. This kiddo has a serious degenerative disease that will eventually be terminal. His seizures have increased and their anatomy is changing....not good signs. As a result of the seizures he is losing some of his recently gained skills and is constantly tired....resulting in him being constantly grumpy and emotional and having a big increase in behaviors. I know that following through when I give him a directive is important to his therapy, but what about what's important for his happiness? I mean, no one knows just how long this kid has, so it makes me feel like a terrible person when I have him engage in non-preffered activities....a big part of me just wants to let him play all day.
Ok. Enough depressing-ness. I have been doing quite a bit of baking lately, from making my own caramel for a 'Twix' torte and Mexican toffe (both from "The Perfect Finish" by Bill Yosses) to general Christamas baking to mini beef wellingtons and mini maragarita cupcakes. But my favorite over the past month has by far been the cream puffs. Frenchie's husband loved the blueberry coffee cake, so she ordered another one at the beginning of December. She didn't request anything for Christmas, but asked for cream puffs for New Years. And, if possible, nougatine or florentinas. After several trials, and one attempt to rip my stove from the wall, I declared the nougatine impossible with my current stove (it's an electric flat-top and the burners don't hold a constant heat, but insead turn on and off--making caramel and candy rather difficult). So I switched to the florentina. Which cannot be cooked on parchment--as I discovered the hard way. I got one useable florentina rolled before my cookie sheets warped and all the batter ran to the centers. Damn. So cream puffs it was! After a slight debacle the morning I was due to deliver the pastries (apparently cream puffs can't be stored in a sealed container....who knew?), I whipped up another batch and they were crazy successful! Unfortuantely I have not been committed enough to look for my camera charger, and I'm sick at the moment and so feeling too lazy to go get the cable to get the pictures from my phone to the blog. But who know, maybe I'll get a burst of energy...but don't count on it.
Today was banana bread (favorite recipe for this is the one from Southern Sideboards) and laundry...generally a lazy, sicky day. Are constant body aches a sign of anything? All I know is tomorrow I go back to work with a school kid who is very.....hands-on. As in, lots of physically blocking him from various objects of obsession and lots of physically aggressive melt downs. And this achy-ness? Yeah, it is so not going to work for me tomorrow.
Work is getting....frustrating. I'm excited that one kiddo will be graduating the program at the beginning of February. She was my first ever client and I've been with her family since she started the program 2 years ago. I'm so proud of her for the progress she has made, but I'm also insanely nervous for her to transition out....what if she regresses? What if her parents stop following through? I guess I should have a little more faith in all of them...she finally started sleeping in her own bed again after 4 years of sleeping with mom, so they must have been listening to me at some point over the last 2 years.
On the flip side of things, another of my kiddos is regressing big time, but it's not his fault or his family's. This kiddo has a serious degenerative disease that will eventually be terminal. His seizures have increased and their anatomy is changing....not good signs. As a result of the seizures he is losing some of his recently gained skills and is constantly tired....resulting in him being constantly grumpy and emotional and having a big increase in behaviors. I know that following through when I give him a directive is important to his therapy, but what about what's important for his happiness? I mean, no one knows just how long this kid has, so it makes me feel like a terrible person when I have him engage in non-preffered activities....a big part of me just wants to let him play all day.
Ok. Enough depressing-ness. I have been doing quite a bit of baking lately, from making my own caramel for a 'Twix' torte and Mexican toffe (both from "The Perfect Finish" by Bill Yosses) to general Christamas baking to mini beef wellingtons and mini maragarita cupcakes. But my favorite over the past month has by far been the cream puffs. Frenchie's husband loved the blueberry coffee cake, so she ordered another one at the beginning of December. She didn't request anything for Christmas, but asked for cream puffs for New Years. And, if possible, nougatine or florentinas. After several trials, and one attempt to rip my stove from the wall, I declared the nougatine impossible with my current stove (it's an electric flat-top and the burners don't hold a constant heat, but insead turn on and off--making caramel and candy rather difficult). So I switched to the florentina. Which cannot be cooked on parchment--as I discovered the hard way. I got one useable florentina rolled before my cookie sheets warped and all the batter ran to the centers. Damn. So cream puffs it was! After a slight debacle the morning I was due to deliver the pastries (apparently cream puffs can't be stored in a sealed container....who knew?), I whipped up another batch and they were crazy successful! Unfortuantely I have not been committed enough to look for my camera charger, and I'm sick at the moment and so feeling too lazy to go get the cable to get the pictures from my phone to the blog. But who know, maybe I'll get a burst of energy...but don't count on it.
Today was banana bread (favorite recipe for this is the one from Southern Sideboards) and laundry...generally a lazy, sicky day. Are constant body aches a sign of anything? All I know is tomorrow I go back to work with a school kid who is very.....hands-on. As in, lots of physically blocking him from various objects of obsession and lots of physically aggressive melt downs. And this achy-ness? Yeah, it is so not going to work for me tomorrow.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving!
Ok...haven't posted anything in a while, but I've also been crazy busy with work and baking. My new kiddo at work can turn his tantrums on or off in an instant, which makes my mornings rather exhausting. I've also been working on revising lie 80% of his programs because the woman who wrote them didn't do so great with them.
On the baking side of things, I successfully made gluten-free apple-spice doughnuts! But failed miserably with the cake doughnuts....which I'm ok with, I do NOT like making doughnuts. Frenchie nailed down what she wanted for Thanksgiving just last Friday....not leaving me much time to prepare. So, get get over the stress, I made 4 dozen mini pumpkin pie cheesecakes with brown sugar toasted pecans....my camera charger is still MIA, so no pics :( Baking for Frenchie started Monday night with 6 dozen mini pumpkin cupcakes, and continued through Tuesday (thankfully a snow day), with 6 dozen mini dark chocolate hazelnut cupcakes and 4 dozen mini flourless walnut cupcakes with a honey whiskey glaze. Then came the coffee cake...by far the easiest, but the one that takes the longest to bake...so while it was doing its thing in the oven I was able to get most of the decorating done. It was all going swell....till I went to remove the coffee cake. And ran the knife around the edge. And missed a spot. At 9:30 pm. Long story short(ish), called mom, she brought more blueberries and came to help assemble the pumpkins. It all turned out fine, (thanks mom!) and the goodies were delivered to Frenchie yesterday morning.
So that's it for now, seeing as how it's Thanksgiving morning and I'm supposed to be over at my parent's house oh....20 minutes ago.
On the baking side of things, I successfully made gluten-free apple-spice doughnuts! But failed miserably with the cake doughnuts....which I'm ok with, I do NOT like making doughnuts. Frenchie nailed down what she wanted for Thanksgiving just last Friday....not leaving me much time to prepare. So, get get over the stress, I made 4 dozen mini pumpkin pie cheesecakes with brown sugar toasted pecans....my camera charger is still MIA, so no pics :( Baking for Frenchie started Monday night with 6 dozen mini pumpkin cupcakes, and continued through Tuesday (thankfully a snow day), with 6 dozen mini dark chocolate hazelnut cupcakes and 4 dozen mini flourless walnut cupcakes with a honey whiskey glaze. Then came the coffee cake...by far the easiest, but the one that takes the longest to bake...so while it was doing its thing in the oven I was able to get most of the decorating done. It was all going swell....till I went to remove the coffee cake. And ran the knife around the edge. And missed a spot. At 9:30 pm. Long story short(ish), called mom, she brought more blueberries and came to help assemble the pumpkins. It all turned out fine, (thanks mom!) and the goodies were delivered to Frenchie yesterday morning.
So that's it for now, seeing as how it's Thanksgiving morning and I'm supposed to be over at my parent's house oh....20 minutes ago.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Baking-induced insomnia
So much baking and so little posting. I made the cake for Frenchie...used an old family recipe (how cliche does that sound?) that I've always liked, but found the flavor a little flat. So I personalized it a bit with dark French chocolate and buttermilk....fabulous. Made a divitinty icing and a chocolate ganache to top it off...
Sadly...that was the last picture before my camera battery finally called it quits....wouldn't be so bad if I could find the darn charger. Since the cake, there have also been successful chocolate pumpkin cupcakes with a cream cheese/whipped cream frosting as well as yesterday's amazingness: a spiced honey pound cake with a honey liquer syrup. So very very good.
So this weekend's baking is actually serving a purpose. I recently joined The Daring Kitchen and the Daring Baker challenge for this month is donughts. I have 2 ideas in mind so far, and a potential 3rd....so there might just be copious amounts of frying in my house this weekend.
I'm also toying with a frosting idea (based on the frosting used for the chcolate pumpkin cupcakes) for the chocolate hazelnut cake Frenchie wants...I previously topped the cupcakes with Nutella and a piece of chocolate, but will need something a bit lighter for an entire cake.
So that about sums up my kitchen activities till now...more pics to come once I find the damned charger.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
your delusional sunset
Weekend discoveries, bad first, good after (because really, who wants to end on something depressing?)
1. I'm not quite ready to watch romantic comedies....I may laugh at all the funny parts and tear up when appropriate, but I'm left feeling rather bitter at the end. Might need another month or so...
2. My chocolate pumpkin cakes turned out not so good. This is the second time a recipe has gone horribly wrong in 3 weeks. Not good.
3. Cold Stone no longer has dark chocolate ice cream. Sad, sad day (especially as said ice cream was needed in response to #1).
D (because I can't decide if it's bad or good or just plain 'is'): Dog does not like large, inflatable, light-up, ghost-topped, lawn decoration pumpkins. As in full-attack-mode-teeth out-hair up-barking like a maniac and scaring the shit out of me.
5. I heart my down alternative mattress topper. It is fluffy and warm and snuggly. yay!
6. Shopping is cathartic. And raises endorphins (See also, dark chocolate ice cream). And gives me a reason to put off doing laundry for just one more day...or two.
1. I'm not quite ready to watch romantic comedies....I may laugh at all the funny parts and tear up when appropriate, but I'm left feeling rather bitter at the end. Might need another month or so...
2. My chocolate pumpkin cakes turned out not so good. This is the second time a recipe has gone horribly wrong in 3 weeks. Not good.
3. Cold Stone no longer has dark chocolate ice cream. Sad, sad day (especially as said ice cream was needed in response to #1).
D (because I can't decide if it's bad or good or just plain 'is'): Dog does not like large, inflatable, light-up, ghost-topped, lawn decoration pumpkins. As in full-attack-mode-teeth out-hair up-barking like a maniac and scaring the shit out of me.
5. I heart my down alternative mattress topper. It is fluffy and warm and snuggly. yay!
6. Shopping is cathartic. And raises endorphins (See also, dark chocolate ice cream). And gives me a reason to put off doing laundry for just one more day...or two.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Rugelach, meet mini torte pans!
Ok...so the original plan for baking this weekend was to use the freakishly adorable molds lent to me by Frenchie. I had it all planned out...carrot cake with cream cheese icing. I bought edible spray paint. Colored sanding sugars. I was so darned excited. Until I tried the batter....hmm....well, maybe it would be different when it cooked and the carrots weren't crunchy. Yeah. Nope. Not only was the batter bad, but even if it had miraculously become edible in the oven (I can hope), the cakes refused to come out of the molds. So, no super cute, spray paint and sugar decorated, cream cheese frosted carrot cake. Damn.
I was determined to bake though, so I pulled out a Christmas cookie cookbook that my mom got for me recently and flipped to one I've been dying to try: Rugelach. The book says they are Eastern European and the cookie dough is made with cream cheese and topped with fruit and nuts then rolled into crescents. But it was Sunday afternoon. And I had to pick up a friend at the airport in like 4 hours. And hadn't really slept. So the prospect of rolling out the dough and making 40-some odd crescent cookies was not so much appealing. Enter the torte. I used my mom's Italian grandmother's recipe for the dough from her apricot and apple torte, sprinkled milk, cinnamon, and brown sugar on the crust, and topped with honey (not called for in the Rugelach recipe, but makes it oh so much better!). Here are the results:
Friday, October 15, 2010
Running with scizzors
I have a lot of extra energy in the evenings....so I'm making hair clips for my niece, Curly. I had bought her 2 super cute flower clips when she was out visiting this summer, but they were $7 each (absurd!) and my sister wants more. So between me and her Curly will have a veritable garden of hair clips.
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| The little yellow one with the green ribbon is my favorite so far |
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Amazing amazingness.
Amazingness #1: Over the weekend, in between two separate 8 hour shopping stints, I made about 70 mini marzipan pumpkin stems and curly-cues...along with, of course, mini pumpkin cupcakes....
Amazingness #2: This morning when I stopped in the office at work for some papers Frenchie, my boss, asked if she could place an order for Thanksgiving! She had mentioned it in passing a few times, but this morning said that she definately wanted the mini chocolate hazelnut cakes (see this post) and that she had her mom bring some chocolate from France (French chocolate!!!!!!) for me to make them with! YAY!
Amazingness #C: After informing me about the chocolate (French chocolate!!!!), Frenchie told me she had something I could borrow. Ok...we are currently at a day care/pre-school, so when she takes me into the kitchen telling me how excited I'm going to be I really didn't believe her...till she pulled out 2 of these:
SO FREAKIN CUTE! Yes, those would be little mini carrots. And radishes. And cabbage (cabbages?). And look at the adorable little peas!!!!! I'm planning carrot cake for them and am super excited to spray paint the frosting...I bought a can today to start practicing :) (And yes, that would be a Williams Sonoma bag in the background....which also makes me happy, because, although I did not buy the cute little pans there, I did see other cute little pans there and purchased a fabulous cutting board and spatula)
Amazingness #4: It's 8 pm onTuesday. Which means that a) I survived an atrocious Monday and b) Glee is on. And I'm a Gleek. So this makes me happy! Woo! (But seriously....look at the cute little peas!!!!!!)
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| The beginnings of my mini pumpkin patch |
Amazingness #C: After informing me about the chocolate (French chocolate!!!!), Frenchie told me she had something I could borrow. Ok...we are currently at a day care/pre-school, so when she takes me into the kitchen telling me how excited I'm going to be I really didn't believe her...till she pulled out 2 of these:
Amazingness #4: It's 8 pm onTuesday. Which means that a) I survived an atrocious Monday and b) Glee is on. And I'm a Gleek. So this makes me happy! Woo! (But seriously....look at the cute little peas!!!!!!)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
possibly permanently scarred
This kinda summarizes my life right now....but substitute a cat and a baking obsession for 2 of the dogs.
That being said, Dog is loosing his manhood on Friday, and I'm feeling kinda bad about it. However, 2 specific incidents have led to this suddenly being a rather urgent necessity....
1--While sick over the weekend, I spent a few nights at my parent's house and, as any good pet-parent, I brought Dog and Cat. Dog was planned to sleep upstairs with my parents and their 2 dogs so I could actually get some sleep....yeah, right. My mom came down to get Dog's bed and went back up....then came back down, this is where it got bad. Mom informed me that Dog started *ahem* humping his pillow....yeah, that part I could deal with...then my mom proceeded to re-enact it, complete with hip thrusts and arm movements. That was something I absolutely never needed to see and pretty much sealed Dog's fate.
2--Although I called and scheduled the removal of his boy-stuff the morning after the previous event, Dog further confirmed that this was the right decision at puppy class that night....when, while practicing "come" (no pun intended) in front of the entire class, Dog decided that he was suddenly and inexplicably turned on by the middle-aged, rotund, mustached female trainer and that he needed to act on that feeling immediately.
Bye-bye boy parts
That being said, Dog is loosing his manhood on Friday, and I'm feeling kinda bad about it. However, 2 specific incidents have led to this suddenly being a rather urgent necessity....
1--While sick over the weekend, I spent a few nights at my parent's house and, as any good pet-parent, I brought Dog and Cat. Dog was planned to sleep upstairs with my parents and their 2 dogs so I could actually get some sleep....yeah, right. My mom came down to get Dog's bed and went back up....then came back down, this is where it got bad. Mom informed me that Dog started *ahem* humping his pillow....yeah, that part I could deal with...then my mom proceeded to re-enact it, complete with hip thrusts and arm movements. That was something I absolutely never needed to see and pretty much sealed Dog's fate.
2--Although I called and scheduled the removal of his boy-stuff the morning after the previous event, Dog further confirmed that this was the right decision at puppy class that night....when, while practicing "come" (no pun intended) in front of the entire class, Dog decided that he was suddenly and inexplicably turned on by the middle-aged, rotund, mustached female trainer and that he needed to act on that feeling immediately.
Bye-bye boy parts
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Plus one
I hate being sick. Ok...so I get that no one really likes being sick, but maybe I wouldn't dread it so damn much if it didn't always seem to come with reinforcements (namely, the flu or things that masquerade as the flu) and snide remarks. Recent evidence....
Dropped of super cute kiddo on Wednesday and noticed my throat hurt. Got worse quick, called in to work for Thurs. Woke up unable to swallow without feeling like someone was trying to rip off my ears while simultaneously shoving sharp pokey things into my throat. Drove to the doctor....resulting in being told that my allergy to eggs "sucks" (yeah, thanks, hadn't realized that), and that I either had strep or the flu. Did a strep test, waited for the results while alternating between questioning the decor choices and considering passing out on the floor till he came back. Was about to snag the exam pillow and get comfy when he came back....
Dr: Two blue lines! You either have strep or you're pregnant!
Me: (....wait, what? why would they make a strep test that tests for pregnancy too? can't they separate them? I didn't know you could use a throat culture to test for pregnancy...oh...he's waiting for me to say something).......I can't be pregnant, it's not physically possible right now. (was that what I was supposed to say? He's looking at me kinda funny, like maybe he doesn't believe me?....but I'm NOT pregnant! Wait...was he serious?)
Dr: Yeah....that isn't always the best timing for that joke
Me: Joke, right, haha. (you meanie head! Do I look like I'm coherent enough to distinguish a joke right now? Or that I would even find a joke funny? Which, by the way, your's was not!)
So I managed to make it out of there with a prescription for one of the few antibiotics I'm not allergic to. Headed to Walmart to get it filled. And, ok, so I might not have been looking my best at this point. But seriously, how much of a wreck could I have been? So when, while sitting on a bench waiting for my pills, the guy in line tells the pharmacy lady he's "doing better than she is!" (complete with thumb-jerk at me) I was rather put off...or would have been if I wasn't about to fall asleep on the cart handle. But whatever. I got my pills and did my sicky version of the happy dance....it consists of me making it to my car and downing the first 2 pills...not much dancing really. Despite the happy-dance-inducing-antibiotics I didn't exactly get better....in fact, I got worse. I got hives on my elbows and kneecaps (weird, I know), body aches (who knew lying in bed could make your ankles hurt?!), and a major headache (but who needs to be able to turn their head? I have peripherial vision!). Several hours and $200 later we had it narrowed down to strep plus one or more of the following expert opinions:
Dr 1: Said the additional symptoms were due to an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, something I've been told would happen eventually, and prescribed a new antibiotic from my tiny list of options
Dr 2: Said it was not classic allergic reaction but the only way to know would be to continue the first antibiotic and see if I get better or not. Decided it was a bizzare reaction to the strep infection, then proceeded to tell me that hives are always caused by an allergic reaction and gave me an entire handout on them (if you know me at all, you know I'm no stranger to allergies or hives...clearly this woman didn't believe me)
Mom (whose opinion counts because, well, she's mom): Agreed with Dr. 1 and with Dr. 2 about the reaction to the strep infection, and decided that I had a 24 hr flu as well (she got all the bases covered)
Conclusion: So we still don't know what my plus-one was, but it's basically gone. I don't really remember much else from the last 48 hours, except that I may have adamantly insisted that my sister go to her husband's work and call the receptionist a whore. Maybe.
Dropped of super cute kiddo on Wednesday and noticed my throat hurt. Got worse quick, called in to work for Thurs. Woke up unable to swallow without feeling like someone was trying to rip off my ears while simultaneously shoving sharp pokey things into my throat. Drove to the doctor....resulting in being told that my allergy to eggs "sucks" (yeah, thanks, hadn't realized that), and that I either had strep or the flu. Did a strep test, waited for the results while alternating between questioning the decor choices and considering passing out on the floor till he came back. Was about to snag the exam pillow and get comfy when he came back....
Dr: Two blue lines! You either have strep or you're pregnant!
Me: (....wait, what? why would they make a strep test that tests for pregnancy too? can't they separate them? I didn't know you could use a throat culture to test for pregnancy...oh...he's waiting for me to say something).......I can't be pregnant, it's not physically possible right now. (was that what I was supposed to say? He's looking at me kinda funny, like maybe he doesn't believe me?....but I'm NOT pregnant! Wait...was he serious?)
Dr: Yeah....that isn't always the best timing for that joke
Me: Joke, right, haha. (you meanie head! Do I look like I'm coherent enough to distinguish a joke right now? Or that I would even find a joke funny? Which, by the way, your's was not!)
So I managed to make it out of there with a prescription for one of the few antibiotics I'm not allergic to. Headed to Walmart to get it filled. And, ok, so I might not have been looking my best at this point. But seriously, how much of a wreck could I have been? So when, while sitting on a bench waiting for my pills, the guy in line tells the pharmacy lady he's "doing better than she is!" (complete with thumb-jerk at me) I was rather put off...or would have been if I wasn't about to fall asleep on the cart handle. But whatever. I got my pills and did my sicky version of the happy dance....it consists of me making it to my car and downing the first 2 pills...not much dancing really. Despite the happy-dance-inducing-antibiotics I didn't exactly get better....in fact, I got worse. I got hives on my elbows and kneecaps (weird, I know), body aches (who knew lying in bed could make your ankles hurt?!), and a major headache (but who needs to be able to turn their head? I have peripherial vision!). Several hours and $200 later we had it narrowed down to strep plus one or more of the following expert opinions:
Dr 1: Said the additional symptoms were due to an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, something I've been told would happen eventually, and prescribed a new antibiotic from my tiny list of options
Dr 2: Said it was not classic allergic reaction but the only way to know would be to continue the first antibiotic and see if I get better or not. Decided it was a bizzare reaction to the strep infection, then proceeded to tell me that hives are always caused by an allergic reaction and gave me an entire handout on them (if you know me at all, you know I'm no stranger to allergies or hives...clearly this woman didn't believe me)
Mom (whose opinion counts because, well, she's mom): Agreed with Dr. 1 and with Dr. 2 about the reaction to the strep infection, and decided that I had a 24 hr flu as well (she got all the bases covered)
Conclusion: So we still don't know what my plus-one was, but it's basically gone. I don't really remember much else from the last 48 hours, except that I may have adamantly insisted that my sister go to her husband's work and call the receptionist a whore. Maybe.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tranquilizer glove not included
Good things this week (as inspired by Portland):
*Dog is a celebrity. Well, as good as. Everywhere I take him people stop what they are doing to tell me how beautiful he is and the trainer at puppy class pulled me aside after to tell me how great and smart Dog is....this makes me hugely happy : )
*new Calphalon pans for $160 instead of $400
*got a new wireless printer, but didn't know I needed a wireless router....this is still a good thing because it gives me more of a reason to finally get actual internet
*the new cookbook my mom got me....although it is strictly a cookie cookbook, and although typically I thoroughly dislike making cookies, I'm going to give it a chance...there some rolled up apricot raspberry thingies that look promising
*for the last 20 min Cat has been sitting on the back of the entertainment center staring intently at the backs of the wii and antenna and jumping spastically...I'm entertained
*Dog is a celebrity. Well, as good as. Everywhere I take him people stop what they are doing to tell me how beautiful he is and the trainer at puppy class pulled me aside after to tell me how great and smart Dog is....this makes me hugely happy : )
*new Calphalon pans for $160 instead of $400
*got a new wireless printer, but didn't know I needed a wireless router....this is still a good thing because it gives me more of a reason to finally get actual internet
*the new cookbook my mom got me....although it is strictly a cookie cookbook, and although typically I thoroughly dislike making cookies, I'm going to give it a chance...there some rolled up apricot raspberry thingies that look promising
*for the last 20 min Cat has been sitting on the back of the entertainment center staring intently at the backs of the wii and antenna and jumping spastically...I'm entertained
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