Plus one

I hate being sick. Ok...so I get that no one really likes being sick, but maybe I wouldn't dread it so damn much if it didn't always seem to come with reinforcements (namely, the flu or things that masquerade as the flu) and snide remarks. Recent evidence....

Dropped of super cute kiddo on Wednesday and noticed my throat hurt. Got worse quick, called in to work for Thurs. Woke up unable to swallow without feeling like someone was trying to rip off my ears while simultaneously shoving sharp pokey things into my throat. Drove to the doctor....resulting in being told that my allergy to eggs "sucks" (yeah, thanks, hadn't realized that), and that I either had strep or the flu. Did a strep test, waited for the results while alternating between questioning the decor choices and considering passing out on the floor till he came back. Was about to snag the exam pillow and get comfy when he came back....

Dr: Two blue lines! You either have strep or you're pregnant!

Me: (....wait, what? why would they make a strep test that tests for pregnancy too? can't they separate them? I didn't know you could use a throat culture to test for pregnancy...oh...he's waiting for me to say something).......I can't be pregnant, it's not physically possible right now. (was that what I was supposed to say? He's looking at me kinda funny, like maybe he doesn't believe me?....but I'm NOT pregnant! Wait...was he serious?)

Dr: Yeah....that isn't always the best timing for that joke

Me: Joke, right, haha. (you meanie head! Do I look like I'm coherent enough to distinguish a joke right now? Or that I would even find a joke funny? Which, by the way, your's was not!)

So I managed to make it out of there with a prescription for one of the few antibiotics I'm not allergic to. Headed to Walmart to get it filled. And, ok, so I might not have been looking my best at this point. But seriously, how much of a wreck could I have been? So when, while sitting on a bench waiting for my pills, the guy in line tells the pharmacy lady he's "doing better than she is!" (complete with thumb-jerk at me) I was rather put off...or would have been if I wasn't about to fall asleep on the cart handle. But whatever. I got my pills and did my sicky version of the happy dance....it consists of me making it to my car and downing the first 2 pills...not much dancing really. Despite the happy-dance-inducing-antibiotics I didn't exactly get better....in fact, I got worse. I got hives on my elbows and kneecaps (weird, I know), body aches (who knew lying in bed could make your ankles hurt?!), and a major headache (but who needs to be able to turn their head? I have peripherial vision!). Several hours and $200 later we had it narrowed down to strep plus one or more of the following expert opinions:

Dr 1: Said the additional symptoms were due to an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, something I've been told would happen eventually, and prescribed a new antibiotic from my tiny list of options

Dr 2: Said it was not classic allergic reaction but the only way to know would be to continue the first antibiotic and see if I get better or not. Decided it was a bizzare reaction to the strep infection, then proceeded to tell me that hives are always caused by an allergic reaction and gave me an entire handout on them (if you know me at all, you know I'm no stranger to allergies or hives...clearly this woman didn't believe me)

Mom (whose opinion counts because, well, she's mom): Agreed with Dr. 1 and with Dr. 2 about the reaction to the strep infection, and decided that I had a 24 hr flu as well (she got all the bases covered)

Conclusion: So we still don't know what my plus-one was, but it's basically gone. I don't really remember much else from the last 48 hours, except that I may have adamantly insisted that my sister go to her husband's work and call the receptionist a whore. Maybe.